Praying for Deep Water.

Life is pain. Get used to it! Sad songs are the only ones that matter. How do we build bridges and skyscrapers when we are all so mired in such depression? Maybe I should not be listening to this music :-

Tigerlilly - Natalie Merchant

Look deep in this sadness for the meaning and the key. I cannot argue with the idiots who write such drivel about the world. How can I be right and they be wrong? How can anyone be entirely right when the world is so complex. I am back to the idea of the general lack of understanding on how big the world actually is. There are people in high places with their big cars and their invisible jobs who don't get anything outside their own heads. There are 6 billion people on the planet and most of us don't act as though there are more than 6 million. You are a factor of 1000 out. Understand the solution is never going to be found while this is the case. We all bounce along as if the world is a happy place. I sound like I should be walking around with a sandwich board on proclaiming that the end is nigh. Wealth and Poverty! You've not been born 'til you get out of town.

I dreamed of being forced to work in air-traffic control. I could not handle the responsibility; looking after more than one aircraft was too much for me though my friends would say that all the planes have their own flight paths and would look after themselves. Does this smack of control freakery? I could not do this job. In waking life I worry about planes crashing which is an extension of my fear of flying. The police helicopter flies over our house regularly, so low that the whole building shakes and the air is compressed by the downdraft. That frightens me.

So many times today I have started sentences and deleted them simply because they do not fit or sound stupid. I cannot seem to find any thread, not that I do anyway. I will give up for this morning and maybe there will be some more at Lunchtime.