Curling up in the Shadows

Music is :- Shahen-Shah by Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan and Party

I want to think about the whole universe. There is so much nothing around here that there must be something amongst all that nothing out there. I keep returning to thinking about everything in the universe and then nothing - a point with no dimensions. This must still have a location but no spread. And then what about everything? Sometimes at night, especially if it is raining I imagine specific points on the Earth where I have been. Sometimes it is simply a clump of trees I may have passed a few days before and sometimes it is a more specific point. I think of the rain dripping through the trees or how a place that seems busy might appear when it was dark and no one is around. At the moment I am recalling a door in a wall of the Garden at Wollaton Hall in Nottingham. It is a small door and you have to bend down to get through it. The floor is brick and slopes up, emerging in the grounds behind the house. We used to visit the gardens quite a lot when I was little as it had a great adventure playground with a rope slide. It was mentioned on some gardening programme the other day which is why I am thinking of it.

How to write a paragraph of complete meaningless nonsense.

This reminds me of something which I am sure I have mentioned before; In the book Winter's Tale by Mark Helprin, one of the characters is taken on a rapid journey through every grave of every human who ever lived, not just the organised cemeteries and ossuaries but also the final resting place of every single person who has died - the lost children, the victims of every disaster - everyone. And all this happens in a short time. It is so long since I read it, the exact details have been lost but the impression it made on me was so strong as to have remained in my head popping up at least once a month from when I read it at least 15 years ago. It is one of those things which should be horrible but which actually ends up being comforting. The idea must be that no one is ever forgotten; the universe or some spirit within it knows us all and our end and marks our passing. No one dies in vain.

Music is now :- Tehillim by Steve Reich

The money god has taken us all. An empty life spent chasing it is lived out so close to mine. I would be happy with more money - almost anyone would be but there is no desire for fame as so many celebrities claim. The money god has the most persuasive dogma, rhetoric of failure and of lost desire. Life will not change us all and we will be remembered by our timelines through this cosmos. A meeting of space and mind has defined us for as far into the future as we can see.

Knock them out. Deny them everything