Very, Very Professional

No! I don't want to talk to you. You know how cool you are so don't ask me. Today is a random Friday. Starting with ... Fermat's last Theorem. How did something so simple become so complicated to prove. You can see why so many people tried to prove it over the years. I know all the words to this song. I can sing them to myself as they happen. They have discovered 'Mirror Matter' on an Asteroid. I think our discovery has flipped the Universe round because Martin is being nice to people. He'll be writing poetry soon and saying how horrible Jeremy Clarkson is. Four dimensional symmetry! Now theres a concept for evalutation. Two components both with real and imaginary portions. And you thought the plot of Dynasty was convoluted. Some say we are living in a giant computer simulation. Surely the designer would have put in a catch to make sure that none of his creations began to start thinking about this. When will the first computer be built which can think and understand that it is just a computer rather than conciousness. Actually, as soon as they can think, that is what they will know. The first computer to believe that is not a computer will be the first totally successful simulation of the human mind. And if we are living inside a simulation already then the creation of a simulation within it will be a real jump. Does this then open the way for the simulation to create further simulations. This is like the idea of creating Universes within our own. How can any simulation create everything we see, from El Lissitzky to Homer Simpson. Come to think of it, maybe Homer Simpson is El Lissizky. Paint him red and white rather than Yellow. Think of everything you have ever thought about and see if you can drive the controller crazy. If we all think at the limit of our ability maybe we could overload the system. Oh I know all this is rubbish. There is nothing outside the text as it were. There is no Back Story. But of course there is. Mmmm Yes! A nod and a wink! Mmmm yes. Nigel tells me that Rabbit-Proof Fence is on at the local multiplex which is a surprise. Next week has one evening accounted for. Has your week got at least one day accounted for? You are planning too far ahead. Video Killed the Radio Star though there is still The Prairie Home Companion. What a voice! It has been a quite week in lake whereever. Video Star! Staaaaarrrrrr. Mmm Yes. Oh where is that coming from Molly? They have gone and spoiled Dublin now. The Black Lake has been cleared. An Cat Dubh. Didgeridoo! That is Irish for Black Pipe or something. Like Sheela Na Gigs. I thought that they were only from Ireland but there are loads in the UK. In fact there is on at Kilpeck. Hereford. Two Centuries need to pass for them to catch up and I wouldn't want it any other way. Driving home through the empty hop-fields in the winter is something special. They are like a repeating phrase which burns itself into your mind. The winter trees! Would you try to stop me writing this if you could or is anyone actually reading as I type. I know you can read faster than I can type but imagine me typing as the words go into your head. Can you see the same Office things which I can see if I look up. No-one who has read this has ever been to my office so they don't know. I need to take a photo to post or I could do a drawing. American Dreaming! That is Dead Can Dance. I am sure there was a tune by CDC (DCD, whatever) in Adam Hart Davis' program. It was supposed to be a Tudor type track. What Adam Hart Davis did for us! That would be a brilliant program. Talking of Xylophones. Talking Xylophones! Talking Drums. I can speak with music like the sound of the wind in the empty ice-fields. A Drone that is not a Drone. Hey! Now just get in and close the door. The magic road which powers down to the sea. I used to travel it every month. My Aunt lives at the mountain end of this road. Head on down the M62. How do you write down the sound of a Harmonica? Maybe it is something like this WWWWWwwwWWWWrrrrggghhhhh. Or Genevieve! Larry was Addled. No! Larry Adler. Was he a communist? or was that Robin Hood or maybe the writer? They kicked them out anyway because McCarthy was sick and his friend Hoover Dam had a very interesting wardrobe. I dreamed I flew over the Hoover Dam in a small helicopter fitted with salad spinners. I dreamed a lot of other things which I can't remember. Men in a War. Phantom limbs. Phantom Minds more like. Absolutely no integrity. Absolutely no will whatsoever. I am tired of sleeping and there is so much to do. A Phantom Blog! Now there is an idea. A Blog which everyone knows about but which no-one can find. It exists at www.???.com. Who lives at www.a1.com? Why does it take so long to reach it? Maybe everyone tries that url and it is always clogged up. Our network is clogged up. A Zither! A Zither. Where does he live? Why am I asking more questions than I could ever answer? Is this a question? Yes! Back to A Zither or Z Ather. ZiatherIA. Zithery. A slithery zip. Actually A Slithery zip was the phrase I defined as my end point for writing this. As soon as I thought of the phrase I was to stop.

That is a bit like saying the cure for hiccoughs is to run around the house three times without thinking of Bill Bixby. It only works if you don't know that you are not to think of Bill Bixby. It helps if you don't know who Bill Bixby is so that there is less chance of you thinking of him. I hadn't actually sorted an end phrase out so A slithery zip was just a convenient end. Ah! But am I still writing the random paragraph? I am still asking stupid questions so I could be. Doctor David Banner incindentally, the Incredible Hulk's less incredible human alter ego. Try not thinking of him as a cure for anything.

Not thinking of Bill Bixby is a great placebo.