Un-defined Definitives

Have you noticed that, as you get older, all the things you thought were definitive become blurred? It is as if your life begins to fray as you get older. Nothing is definite now. You have to hang on to the structure and regularity of your life in order to feel stable. Maybe this is just me and a slight return to the old obsessive-compulsive disorders but it becomes quite frightening. Again, I have to tell myself that I am not starving or under fire or suffering for anything horrible but curable by a tiny injection of money. Celebrate your lack of war. I like history and all history seems so definite, even all those "was so-and-so wrong to do such-and-such" articles where two people argue about some point in history eg. Was the US right to drop the atomic bombs on Japan? I suppose it is because something which has actually happened is definite, though of course it depends on who writes it. Maybe it is our duty to question history. I do not agree with loads of things which went on but then again I am colouring these events with my view of what it right and wrong today. This is of course the meaning of to Equivocate the past. Nothing is definite; even stuff that has happened. Sum-Over-Histories take any concrete event away from us and turn it into a fuzzy blob of memory held in billions of brains around the world. Did you know a thousand people died in a ferry disaster of the coast of Senegal? Why wasn't that at the top of the news last week? Here in the first world, out view of what is important is just perverse. Think of the amounts of money we spend on saving a tiny proportion of lives or even on creating new lives (IVF etc) when the same amount of money could save the lives of hundreds or thousands of times as many people around the rest of the planet. It all comes down to balancing the economy. We like to think that world is civilized but the world is as full today of perverse and misguided behaviour as it ever was. It is just that in the West we don't see the real horrors, just the strange and weird results of our own behaviour, spending loads of money of things we don't need. We don't feel comfortable without these things but we would not die or get sick or starve without them.

I look from the drunken thugs who create havoc and misery on Saturday nights to the sad individuals who decide to blow up the world for the sake of nothing more than power even if it is going under the banner of freedom, and I see no difference. This of course is lifted from here :-

"Twelve voices were shouting in anger, and they were all alike. No question, now, what had happened to the faces of the pigs. The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which."