Late-Night Line-Up

Listening to Gathering by Kathryn Tickell

The chapters in Her Husband which include some stuff on the natal astrological charts of Ted Hughes were set to annoy me. However, the biographer has chosen not to believe in the literal interpretations and has simply included them to show what Hughes himself believed about them. All this is not the main point of this which is instead to refer to a couple of notes I made while reading this bit. I wrote 'Astrology and doing the right thing - the moral and ethical component of all ancient disciplines.' I knew what this meant and what part of the book it was sparked by. Today all that has gone and the statement is disconnected from the thought that was sparked by last night's reading.

The next note said 'Ditch the Rationality' which I do know about. From reading more about Hughes and Plath I find myself criticising them for their belief in the irrational side of the world; things such as astrology and other divination. My mother made a conscious effort to not let us have what she considered airy-fairy stuff like fairy-tale books and that we grew up within the realm of science and more definite fields. However, our grandmother (wife of Herbert) took steps to supply us with all these things. Now I like to think I am rational - no way will that Derren Brown ever fool me - just because I don't understand how something happens the way it does, I am not going off to suggest some supernatural explanation. I don't know exactly how a lot of technology works but I don't start thinking of little men inside the machines I use like all those animals inside the Flintstone's consumer durables. Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. My point in the note is to say that maybe I should start believing in the other side etc and that will make me a better writer, a better poet especially. Maybe not.

Spot on story here. I know the feeling well though I don't think I have admitted the extent of my own issues to anyone. Not bad at the moment. To be honest, the physical problems have focused my worries and left the mental issues behind. There were a few days just out of hospital when I felt really bad but then again, as everyone here has told me, you don't leave hospital at the end of one week and start back at work the next. Certain un-discussable issues forced my hand on this one which is my excuse. Solutions to mental problems are always mental rather than chemical. .

Maybe I should be like the Goodies who tried their best to annoy Mary Whitehouse after she praised their show. I am seeing myself as a mass of conflicts at the moment. I suppose you could me pro-choice but I get far more worked up over the injustices of late abortion due to hair lip or even the fact that it is legal to abort a foetus after the stage at which medical technology can keep the foetus alive after spontaneous abortion. I have no problem with stem cell research. I cannot think about this more. For all my supposed rationality, there are plenty of things which upset me when I should be trying to ignore the emotional side of it.