Trash! James Joyce! Cosmic Forces!

Listening to 12" 80s

I seem to start so many posts with a sentence about how grey it is today. Well it really is today, rainy and dark, maybe to help the cricket. It is all very much in the back-to-school range of weather though we had a teacher who claimed that September was always better than the summer that preceded it and I seem to remember, that he said that this weather made children behave in odd ways. Nothing to do with being back in a regime of learning after six weeks of fishing in ponds, cycling to nearby landmarks just because you could and general not-being-told-what-to-do then!

So many times as well, I will mention here that I still don't feel grown up enough. With the idea of a regime from the above paragraph, I could mention that being able to do what you want, when you want is quite a powerful idea. I know that we all have family commitments, which mean a certain amount of routine is good for children but in general, I am like a kid in a toyshop with no assistant. What should I feel like? I look around at the general me-first attitude around these days and this makes me think I am grown-up a bit. But what defines how old you feel? I feel no different now in general demeanour to what I did when I left for college. I might know a few more things and be a bit more self-aware I suppose but there is no real difference. Maybe there is some de-radicalising in there somewhere though my wife will tell you about some un-structured rants about why the world is a horrible place. The bottom line is that in this country it is not! I don't usually agree with Alastair Campbell but his pondering on why the editors of the Daily Mail think the UK is as bad as Albania is spot on. I will grow up one day, be dignified as they lay me out I suppose. I'll wear my suit then.

This sounds so much like 'I'm mad I am'. I am alone here today; my fellow transferees are back at the old site for some leaving drinks but I cannot connect to where I need to from there so here I stay. Martin the misanthropist is here and will be good for some conversation I suppose. Good music and rain! Today is a good day.