Obsolescence or Art for Art's sake

There are strange things happening at the moment. I keep hearing "Ashes to Ashes" at odd moments mostly, it seems, as I get into the shower. Maybe the bathroom is haunted by Major Tom. I feel a bit blasted because of all this ASP. Occasionally it spills off my work machine and I think about implementing it on the web-site but I am resisting as this is simply a journal. Oh, what's the bloody point?


Everything seems a bit closed in at the moment. My head is a bit full but it is difficult to tell if it is a physical thing or something I am trying to get together in my mind. I so desperately want to write some poetry but it is just for the sake of writing something rather than having any ideas. I do have a few ideas but they are all old ones. Suspended in Gaffa might be a good description of what I feel like but for KTB it might mean something quite different. I though it was about a co-respondent who bottled out which shows how clever I am.

The weather here is awful. All day, the wind has been gusting and whistling around the building and our slightly strange feeling of being detached from the ground is not dissipated by the sound of large bits of debris being thrown into the huge metal rubbish skips on the site. The larger pieces actually make the building shake which is almost as dsconcering as the movement of the Clifton Suspension Bridge when large vehicles drive over it. I used to cycle down to it quite often and lean against the railing looking down. On several occasions, I was touched on the shoulder by a kindly old-lady who was checking whether I was OK (I had a major debate there as to whether I should use the word 'alright' but alright is all wrong). I always was OK thank you. Where was that little old lady when the Joy Division fan from our college launched himself of the bridge one rainy Saturday night? He was OK actually as he parachuted down suspened under his great-coat and landed in the mud with only a sprained ankle (well, I might not have the details right but the spirit is there).

The point is this. Rain is wonderful. Sitting on the step and watching it is wonderful. I love the rain. I love walking in it and I love getting inside out of it. I have never come across any situation worth dying for and I hope I never will. Music keeps us all sane.