On Continuously Feeling That A Small Spider Is Crawling Across One’s Face

In the style of www.ennui.org - Current Music: Drumming - Evelyn Glennie

Not sure why but it is there all the time, necessitating a strange flick to rid me of the slight tickle. There is nothing there – just the feeling. Must be some minor lack of a vitamin necessary for healthy nerves. It seems to have gone now but like a stopped car alarm a void still remains. I should be feeling miserable what with it being towards the start of a week in January but things just tick along nicely at the moment.

Having a notebook with squared paper seems to suit me. I have managed to keep it full and up-to-date – I seem to like being constrained by lines which says a lot about my personality I suppose. However, some self-contradiction or at least a desire for some self-contradiction crops up in the pages of the book in that I mentioned about trying to be less ethical and more egocentric. This led me to trying to work out how egocentric I actually am but that measurement seems akin to asking someone whether they are a bad driver or lover and of course can’t actually be answered without observation by the ego itself. My brother would love this post as he loves to talk about the id and the ego and the problem is that I am not entirely sure except in very general terms what the id and the ego actually are.

I went to the Harold Pinter Website the other day, prompted by some article about his scrapbooks being bought for the country. It immediately struck me that the text on the front page was very dense - very un Pinteresque if that adjective can be used about the physical layout of text rather than the atmosphere created in ones of his plays - I cannot be bothered to have a real look for the definition as any of the main links from Google just have it as the Adjective for the noun Pinter without any further description. Anyway - back to H. Pinter’s Web pages - I suppose I would expect a bit more space … a few more ellipsis … visual pauses … room for the reader to … think … to get bored and find something else to click on. But no – it is lines and lines of tiny text and loads of little buttons - like someone trying to cram everything in to one page before they lose interest. Of course like the id and the ego I have not idea what a real Pinter play is really like - I have of course been sucked into the stereotype for the sake of a cheap laugh - you did laugh at this didn’t you?

Just on the offchance and prompted by talking of getting bored with things I have just entered www.ennui.com in my URL line and it actually goes to a blank page. I could go and find out if this is anything meaningful but it does seem self-referential. It does actually have html source behind it though obviously not much - head /head body /body is about it. www.ennui.org is a might more interesting and therefore defeats its own objective. Funny what you can stumble on. Many times I have been annoyed by the fetishist answers from Google when looking up some technical issue. But as we men are supposed to think about sex every three (five - seven - insert own prime number here) minutes I suppose it is just opportunist to redirect us from Citrix Metaframe to “girls who want it” every so often. I suppose we might be interested while in the middle of an open plan office with partitions no higher than a table tennis net (Balls of Fury anyone?). Oh I cannot be bothered to work out the punctuation for that one. ) Maybe it is not too much of a good idea to read the blog on www.ennui.com.)

My note book has the words “Ear Print” in it just below a formula for calculating the half-life of coffee (the same as the half-life of anything else by the way). I am not sure what it actually means which shows that I should be expanding the entries just so they actually mean something to me. I also have the phrase “For God’s man! This is a ternary operator” which I do remember. I hate ternary operators – they should all be re-written as proper code – like all those stupid c iterations and elseifs. Do it properly! As you can tell I have had some c++ to work on this week and bitwise shifts do not agree with me. It’s work code as well before you think I rushed home and opened up the PVR APIs.

And now I’m off to Rockall (noun - not verb).