Set The Controls For Smug Git Mode

Or while you may feel a small prick you will not look like one.

Give Blood Guv! I did yesterday! It’s one of the most important things you can do. They will ask you a lot of questions some of which you might find a bit personal though in this enlightened age none of them should be particularly embarrassing. I was slightly relieved to find that the person wearing a T-Shirt with the words – “I like You – I’ll Kill You Last” was a donor and not a member of staff but in general the whole experience is a calming one. You won’t be able to read anything as one arm is out of action but you will be able to examine the ceiling of whichever Church Hall, Civic Centre or Dank Dungeon in which you chose to ‘Done’. As usual I had to sit in the little cubical reserved for weeds who faint or bleed too much – I suggested it was my high garlic diet which let the watery red stuff to flow far too freely but I was told it was the heat – not that anyone else had to leave the little island of satisfaction where they lay out the tea and biscuits – just me – again.

I have one secret donation on my list from years ago – I gave blood while I was still at college in the company of a large Bristolian player of American Football. He did faint though not for long and we all used it as an excuse to go and top up with iron in the form of Guinness in the student union bar though my Gridiron pal chose to simply munch on a few six-inch nails and then walk up the walls of the corridor with his hands and feet stretched across it until his nose hit the ceiling. Very impressive – Steve Poole was his name – if you know him then tell him to email.

This reminds me of the fathery superiority that I get from walking down one of the alleys round our way. It starts off wide but narrows like a funnel or a duck decoy and at the bottom end I can just touch both sides with my finger tips. My daughter thinks this is wonderful and she uses the gap that she has left when she tries, as a gauge of her own growing up. We are half-way through Swallowdale as well – parts of which I seem to have forgotten including some wonderful set-pieces involving breathless descriptions of the rural, Lakeland activities by Nancy Blackett. And I am within one good session of finishing 'The Steep Approach To Garbadale' with no idea of what the ending will be, other than a mad, self-referential idea like something from Sophie’s World which incidentally is where Spiritualized got the name for their album Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Floating In Space.

Oh and as well as giving blood, your civic duty today should also include voting, if you can find anyone inspiring enough. I think I have a default of Green which means that if all the three big parties misbehave enough then I vote Green and I have to say all the three big parties are not doing anything to make me think they will do a better job in the future. Is that weedy and just a protest vote? Still – the sun is shining so think of all those lucky election officials sitting around bored because no one can be bothered to come along and vote. Now, having decided what your ideal evening should be for today (Vote on the commute– rap hard on the door of the local hospital demanding to be bled and then home for Macaroni Cheese and a little light international peace-keeping) I shall go back to my SQL and .net.