The Return of Random Friday

Steely, playful Bob Milligan entered the tower discreetly, carrying a large towel which looked as if it had travelled half way around ireland inside a fridge. Tony Hawks did that didn't he? Pete McCarthy didn't take the fridge but it does appear that he was accompanied by a Nun who liked Guinness. I had a friend when I was ten who was anemic and he was prescribed a bottle of Guinness every day and he hated it. I wonder where he is now? Probably drunk under a bridge somewhere. I like beer but only one or two at a time. How can someone drink ten pints and still be enjoying the last one? The bubbles rise and that is enough to blow up any bridge. Why is the water holy? Maybe they do something to it or maybe it is just like transubstantiation. As Joyce says in Ulysses, that sounds a bit like canabalism. Why is that good? My father was taught how to blow up bridges and then how to build them again. Those stately devices of transportation across the ravines and valleys and rivers are the most noticeable of our engineering successes. Where would we be without them? On the wrong side of the river of course. The brilliant sunlight bounced off the head of the most notorious gangster this side of Cairns. His black heart pumped the black oil that passed for blood and he slumped in despair at the thought of the evil he had catalysed in his life. The evil! That is in all of us but so is the height of goodness. Some of our leaders are just madmen. How can you gas people and be sane? There are many in that religion who do not believe. It is as if they say that they are absolutely right and that everyone else is wrong. How can that be? Oh! An alarm going off and close by. Get rid of it quick. Monkey in the Middle. Fat Man was one of the first Atomic bombs. The other was Little boy. You could get earrings, one shaped like each of them. Sick and sicker. Walter the BORED. That seagull means something you know. Sir whatsisname Gull! He was the one what did it Guv. The only person I know it wasn't is me. Oh this afternoon is dragging like a dead ox behind a dray cart. Fresh meat. Chop the horns off and drag it through a warm room to its end. Can you bring yourself to eat an animal you have reared and killed yourself? I had a girlfriend once! Oh! I hadn't finished the sentence. I once had a girlfriend who kept goats and exhibited them at the Three Counties Show and though she was a vegetarian, she seemed happy (well not bothered) when the animals were killed. Maybe she was so sad and I never noticed. Sacrifice is everything and nothing. Marines and Sailors. The army is here but where are the airforce? Are all their planes made of flour sacks and string? Like the Wright Flyer on that windy day at Kitty Hawk. Nearly a hundred years and what have done with it? Bombs and guns and troops and gases. We could fly to the moon but we already have. Been there - done that. I have neither been there nor done that as someone yellow once said. Nerve gas is not a toy and I can only hope that anyone who thinks so will soon be turning yellow and black and blue and earthy. We have not seen anyone for days on these Grand Banks. The wind has dropped and the fog has come down like a velvet gag to muffle anything we say. I love to sit on the gunwale and shout out my name to the other cutters who I think may be there. I always knew it was gunnel and not gun-whale. I got told off in school for calling gunnel when we reading some nautical adventure that bored us all to tears. I wanted to read A day in the life of Ivan Denisovich and all they gave us was this rubbish. Of course it was in our school library because it was important and all our teachers were socialists but the one who was communist was very quiet about it. He played us the speeches of Lenin in our general studies classes and we took offence. Know your enemy my wife says but we were there to learn and listening to a boring old Russian talking about things which we considered irrelevant to 17 year old West Midlanders was a bit off. My friends were very vociferous about this. I loved them for it because I was shy and would not say when I agreed with them. I lived on Army and Navy sweets. We were told that they had chloroform in them and we guzzled them to get low or comatosed when our love affairs fell apart. Back to the Army and Navy. The military are busy here as they are in all corners of the world upholding the conventions of war which allow them to blow someone's brains out with a sniper rifle at 100 yards but not with a pistol at one yard. Someone sat down and worked all this out and then they sat down again in Geneva and all the decent people of the world signed it in blood. War is war and snakes are a useful anti-personnel weapon, or should that be anti-Human-Resources weapon? It was the diet of the Vietcong which won the war for the North. They had conviction in all that rice and rat while all the bright n-n-n-n-n-nineteen years olds were full on hamburgers and coca-cola and other types. Lookin all cool with their cigarettes in the bands they stretch around their helmets. The heart of Darkness indeed. Nostromo! Funny! I always thought that Nostromo was the name of the ship in Heart of Darkness or is that the spaceship in Alien? We live in space. Ladies and Gentlemen we are floating in space. Sophie's world is our world or is it just a pretend world in someones head? Bizarro! I don't think the Nostromo was the whole ship - just the tug bit at the front. That and Blade Runner - great films - like the world should be in the future rather than the red-tape of what it will really be. Only fifteen minutes and we're free of this for two days and then free for ever. So little aid across the border. Emergency aid. Emergency aid should be a decent chance at life rather than the impossible mess that exists at present. We are all a bit lefty here. Maybe that is why they won't talk to me. We need to do something but not this. You know what I mean. The voices in my head are just me and not anyone else. Bi-polar? Us? Multiple Personality. Cluster bombs of the mind are what we are. I could do that if I wanted to but we choose not to because it is wrong both legally and morally. The Ten Commandments are half-and-half enshrined in law. Adultery is not illegal in this country; never has been as far as I can tell. Doesn't mean it is right though does it? Bi-polar? That will do nicely sir. Only one of us need accompany you to you end. You would never try to escape would you sir? The end is here and has no code phrase today - see I have passed it by without stopping and I will go on forever or until we are stopped. That is not my voice. I have an interloper in here with us. I will finish while we sort him out.